


Godsent

by RavenReyesWrites



Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, listen to ben & ben's godsent while reading, thread fic turned fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27346843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenReyesWrites/pseuds/RavenReyesWrites
Summary: It was inexplicably numbing, having to send the love of your life off to his final resting place. Kiyoko must have cried out the last of her tears that day, but when she looked up to the sky and saw rays of sunlight peeking through the dark clouds, she felt comforted somehow by the thought that Koushi must have already arrived in heaven.Day 1 of Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 - Prompt: Longing
Relationships: Shimizu Kiyoko/Sugawara Koushi
Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996933
Kudos: 12
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Godsent

**Author's Note:**

> I vowed to write a SugaKiyo oneshot everyday for the whole Haikyuu Angst Week. This is Day 1.

* * *

“And to kick start our event for tonight, let me call on the very beautiful, the ever talented, the _prodigal_ daughter of Karasuno Pub, Kiyoko Shimizu!”

Loud cheers and clapping erupted from the audience as Kiyoko climbed up the stage with guitar in tow, greeting the spectators with a smile as she sat on the high chair at the center of the stage. She took a few seconds to get herself comfortable on her seat, thanking the crew who adjusted the mic stand for her. She plugged in her guitar to the amplifier by her feet, strumming a few chords on it to check the treble and bass.

To say she was scared yet excited to play and sing for the first time in a year in front of a full pub would be an understatement. 

Singing used to be second nature for her. She has always been a timid kid, but once she has a microphone and a guitar in hand, her shyness takes the back seat. Maybe that’s why instead of getting a college degree, she spent her late teenage years and early twenties going to one bar after the other, hoping for any openings for gigs.

And in one of those gigs, she met Koushi. He was a bartender in one of the bigger bars that booked her to sing three songs twice a week. He always has drinks prepared for her, from a simple ginger tea (prepared in a bar, no less) just before she comes on stage and a celebratory mango martini once she’s done for the night.

The free drinks turned to coffee dates, and those coffee dates turned to dinner dates, and those dinner dates turned to her saying yes to his simple yet heartfelt courtship. He has always been her biggest fan; he always made sure to be in every gig she has during his rest days, even if it meant having to study his notes much later. 

He was the only constant in her life, but even he didn’t last long in her life.

If only she went home right after finishing her set that one night at Karasuno Pub, if only she refused Yuuji’s invitation to drink with his band, if only she replied to Koushi’s multiple texts and picked up his calls, he wouldn’t be booking up a Grab (with the last PHP200 in his pocket no less) driven by a drunk driver.

He wouldn’t have _died_ on the spot when the said car crashed into a center island at full speed.

After that, singing has been too painful for her. In her mind, it was that and her incapability to say no to others that had killed the love of her life. 

After a while, it got better. The pain is still there, but Koushi’s “Just keep on singing, love. It makes you the happiest. And seeing you happy makes me the happiest” echoing in her mind was louder.

And so, when the pub’s manager Yachi invited her for the tavern’s kickoff for the month of November, she found herself replying affirmatively. It came as a surprise to her friend, but she was more than sure. She was ready to pick up her guitar for that night and sing a song she had composed when she was still mourning Koushi’s passing. It is a short song, but it was more than enough to channel just how much he had meant to her for the short time fate had bestowed unto them. 

She breathed in, and after a beat, she spoke to the microphone.

“One year ago, the love of my life joined our Creator. He was my everything, he was my anchor, he _is_ my soulmate. He had my best interests in mind, even until the day he was taken from me. I cried for him for months, but I realized that... that isn’t the way I should celebrate his life. Everyone deserves to know just how great of a man he _was._ And I figured I could start that by singing for all of you here. So I gathered some courage, fixed my guitar, and now I’m here,” she said softly, smiling despite the tears glistening in her eyes. 

She gulped around the lump that had formed in her throat, looking up for a few seconds on the dark ceiling and with his image in mind, she felt peace. “Koushi, wherever you are right now, this is for you, love.”

She plucked the intro to her song _Godsent_ , her tears finally falling as her deft fingers jumped from one fret to another.

_God sent those eyes to get me through the night_

_And all the shadows of the past fade into white_

_When all the memories in my head subside_

_You remain here, you remain dear inside, ooh_

Her voice was shaky from her tears and her emotions, but she pushed through until she finished the first verse. The audience didn’t seem to mind though, and she can see a few people with their fingers wiping away the tears from their eyes. 

Of all the things she had loved about Koushi, his eyes will always take the top spot. He had such a mesmerising pair of brown orbs that always had a hint of childlike innocence in them. She had stared into them countless times before, but she always finds herself melting, _captivated_ by how many unsaid words the pair could convey. They had seen her smile, laugh, cry, get enraged, and disappointed, but not once did the warmth and comfort they brought ever faded. 

They were her safe anchors.

_We try to understand the way the current flows_

_We find the love and plan that only faith can know_

Her mind replayed the night they first met. She was a nervous mess and she can remember tripping on one of the cords on stage when she made her entrance. Not a lot of the guests paid attention to her and her song, but when her eyes fell on the bartender behind the counter, she _caught_ him staring. She smiled as she recalled how his cheeks reddened before clumsily knocking over a patron’s drink. 

She was surprised, pleasantly so, when he approached her shyly after her set. She stuttered out a few praises, and he offered her the first mango martini he had made her. 

It was cute; _he_ was cute. And the gesture admittedly made her feel butterflies in her stomach

_And underneath the veil of my wild eyes_

_Is a heart unafraid to let love inside, ooh_

Their first date was simple, but it was at that moment when Kiyoko found herself falling for Koushi. And oh was she falling hard. They started the afternoon by hearing a mass in the cathedral, her cheeks reddening when they held hands during Our Father. His hand gently gripped hers and she can feel the light calluses in them, and yet it did nothing but bring character into his palms. 

He paid for their dinner in a quaint restaurant by the bay. It was then that Kiyoko realized just how soft-spoken Koushi was, and that she doesn’t mind laughing at his corniest jokes even when people had been looking at them.

With him, she felt free. She felt valued. She felt loved.

_God sent those eyes to get me through the night_

_And all the shadows of the past fade into white_

She can barely remember how she arrived in the hospital where he was brought after the accident. Her cousin Tobio fetched her from the bar, and her tipsy mind can only process the words _Koushi, Grab, unresponsive,_ and _we have to go there now._ The ride to the hospital was a blur, and just as they pushed the ER doors open, the nurses had covered his _remains_ with a white cloth.

It was a sobering sight; seeing the mess around the bed where the ER team did their best to revive him despite the extensive damage his body had suffered was too much. And as his parents filled her in on what happened in between sobs and loud cries, her knees gave out, and if it wasn’t for Tobio catching her, she might have broken down on the floor.

The Sugawaras allowed her to choose the clothes in which he will be rested in. She gathered most of her savings and bought him a new tan suit and dark brown leather shoes that would have perfectly matched his eyes. And when she looked down at him for the first time with the glass of his coffin separating them, she couldn’t help but admire just how peaceful he looked. But of course, her sorrow eventually took over and she cried out.

Nobody attempted to stop her, and looking back, she was thankful for that. She let out his regrets, her anger, her _pain_ into those sobs until all that’s left in her were choked out breaths. With a glass of water in hand, Koushi’s mother led her back to her seat and his requiem mass went on.

It was inexplicably numbing, having to send the love of your life off to his final resting place. Kiyoko must have cried out the last of her tears that day, but when she looked up to the sky and saw rays of sunlight peeking through the dark clouds, she felt comforted somehow by the thought that Koushi must have already arrived in heaven.

_When all the memories in my head subside_

_You remain here, you remain dear inside, ooh_

As she sang the last line of her song and strummed its last chord, she realized that, indeed, Koushi was a _godsend_. He arrived at the most unexpected yet at the most perfect time in her life. He was that much of a blessing that God just had to take him back to His kingdom.

And as she bowed with tears streaming down her face to the audience who gave her a standing ovation, all she could hope and all she could pray is that she could look into those brown eyes of his again and that they will finally have their happy ending in the next lifetime.


End file.
